Something I never realized until now, is how toxic I am to myself while I complain about betrayal and hurt but
the truth is people tried to hurt me but the person who broke me down to tears was no one other than me.
And it is soo important to tackle your negative patterns because you cannot expect anyone to love you when you are at war with yourself.
Positive thinking is more than just looking at the bright side and positive thoughts it is also about changing your thinking pattern and being realistic with your expectations.
So I decided that I needed to make some very big changes, and hence came up with this activity, and I will also share my results and updates about my mental health at the end.
I have developed some personalized and effective methods that actually make a difference
These steps are tried and tested not only by me but also by my friends so it is safe to say that you do have a nice guide here.
I hope it helps you too, and remember that YOU always come first.
HERE IS WHY YOU SHOULD ALSO TRY TO BE POSITIVE.
I never noticed the toxic cycle, until a friend pointed it out, for years I thought I was just being realistic and I was my own best critic until I started beating myself up for things I cannot control.
I had enough of living a life with dark clouds hovering above me and decided it was now time for some sunshine.
While you give yourself a week, your main goals should be
- Heal from past betrayals and appreciate the good around you
- Develop a sense of gratitude
- Avoid being over critical about yourself
- Develop a sense of trust over the universe Aka “what is meant to be will be”
- Commit yourself to a productive routine
- Try to untwine yourself self from toxic thinking patterns
I know many of the points mentioned above are not something that can just be achieved in a week but we have to start from somewhere.
Do not set an expectation, that you will be completely transformed by the end of the week, my only aim is to motivate my readers to make a positive change even if it is small.
It is still a positive change.
HOW TO IMPLEMENT THIS CHALLENGE
- I have included 7 activities which you can either do over the course of 7 days or even incorporate each one of it in your daily routine
- Feel free to personalize this challenge and add on more things that make you feel better.
- Do not look at this as a task, rather it is a self-care activity
- Track your progress I would suggest writing down how you feel at the end of the day and if you noticed any improvement in your mental health
- Commit to this activity, I would highly suggest not skipping days and rather take a week out and focus on your mental health
- Remember that is activity is extremely flexible, the tasks that I have talked about are just the ones I personally feel work the best for me and are more than just “think positive”
So let us dive right in.
Start your mornings slowRemember that a slow start doesn’t mean an unproductive start And a productive start does mean that you dive into your work. The definition of productive is different for everybody but the way I like to see it is that any activity that sets the vibe for the day or makes you feel accomplished. I like to start the day with a little tea and youtube videos poetry and blog articles, which reminds me that I have a whole day of creative work ahead of me.
Understand your thinking patternBefore you make conclusions about yourself make sure that you know, why you behave a certain way or feel a certain emotion.
This may take days or even weeks but once you figure this out, every other step is easy.
The pattern I recognized was that I was still projecting my past traumas into present-day good scenarios
Because I went through a lot of pain, I trained myself to find solace in sadness to the point that I did not identify with anything good or positive.
Like a knight getting ready for a battle, even in a stable situation, I would pick on the negative to prepare myself for the worse.
The way I started to change this mentality is to tell myself, that no matter what you do your outcome is never in your had, the only thing you can do is give your best. so why go through the pain of worrying? Also when you realize that each moment in your life only happens once, you will start appreciating it more.
Practice skills.Most of our negative thought patterns originate from a sense of disbelief in ourselves and a lack of self-esteem, and no matter how much you talk about building it up just words won’t take you anywhere, sometimes we need actions to believe in those words.
If you are anything like me, you have a hard time being proud of yourself \believing in your self unless you have a proof that you are indeed worthy of something,
Try spending time to practice skills you are interested in or have a talent for.
When you spend time doing things that better you and start mapping out your progress, this acts like a reason to start believing in yourself.
For example, you are a student who is tired and beaten down by the monotonous education system, but you always wanted to learn an instrument, channel the frustration of not scoring well into something you actually can succeed in.
Slowly but steadily you start feeling that you are enough because you notice that you are worthy because you are blessed with a certain trait\skill that brings you joy. For me, I started writing poetry and started this blog and now spend my days improving my writing style, my content, and interacting with people in similar niches as me.
This has made the most difference because I know that I am worthy of something because I choose to love myself and nurture my interests first.
LET IT GOI am not going to tell you to forgive them, but all I am asking is too let go of the baggage you are carrying because the hate and anger start to feel very heavy after a while
A quote that I really adore is “the mountains that you are carrying, you are only supposed to climb” and that is soo true if you think about it, why would you stop your life, sabotage the upcoming happy moments just because someone decided to shatter you into pieces.
You should get up pick yourself up and not let them win because you are soo much more than the toy people can play with and throw.
Let go of your grief and wake up tomorrow with a possibility that anything can happen can be
good or bad but nothing can stop me.
Write about your best selfRemember when in 2014 everyone, told you fake it till you make it!
Well, I am going to apply the same concept here.
Start writing about your best self in journals, you can write about who you want to be or what you love about yourself, focus more on your personality and emotional traits that you want to achieve or what you already appreciate in yourself.
Gratitude gratitude gratitudeI once read “what is taken for granted is taken away”, and that is when I realized that
When we are in a negative headspace we completely ignore the good things in our life, because soo much attention goes to what is falling apart, than what is already built
The way I practice my gratitude is by make little notes about the things I am grateful for and the people I am grateful for.
When you take care of one plant properly they pollinate and grow more flowers, so spend time loving and adoring the things that are already in your hand, than what slipped away or you did not receive.
Organize your surroundings.You are in bad headspace because your thoughts scattered, you now have no control over what you feel or maybe your life is a mess right now.
Like I always say, there are things you cannot control but yes you can at least make yourselves feel better, so what I like to do the most is clean, since I really cannot throw the junk out of my brain I like to throw it out of my house instead.
Remember hotel rooms? Clean linens, shining countertops, didn’t that make you feel soo relaxed? imagine your house or apartment feeling the same?
Clean your bedsheets and organize your storage spaces, then order takeout, and binge-watch Netflix doesn’t that sound amazing?
Start saying positive thingsThe way I like to implement this step is by making the people around me hold me accountable if I say anything negative or dark and twisty (if you know those last two words are from I seriously love you). So next time an obviously fake friend asks you, “what is up?”,”how you doing?”. Tell them that life is good because honestly soo many people have it worse than you.
ConclusionBy the end of the week, I quickly realized that working on yourself doesn’t happen in a week or a month, every single day you have to make a choice to be a better person, you have to make it a habit to appreciate the things around you.
Keeping it very real with you guys, I still look at the glass half empty and sometimes I have to tell myself to look at it half full
I am not the best that I can be, but am I better?
A big YES!!